Kirkpatrick's Twisted Slant - "This blog goes to 11"
These are all the Blogs posted in June, 2005.
Thursday, 30
Batman (no spoilers) and the Weasel
Batman is back. Thank you, Christopher Nolan (director of Insomnia and Memento), for returning the Batman franchise to respectability. Christian Bale does a tremendous job as Batman and I can only
Posted By James at 8:18 AM
Wednesday, 29
Put your meat in its proper casing
There are certain things in life where holding your ground really is a necessity. I encountered one of these issues last week when I went to lunch in the building cafeteria. I ordered a grinder, whi
Posted By James at 8:34 AM
Tuesday, 28
The Johnson family from Bangladesh
The main reason we have Caller ID at home is not to see which friends are calling but to know when not to pick up if it’s a telemarketer. I was expecting a call last night when I got the standard “Un
Posted By James at 8:14 AM
Monday, 27
Winning friends and influencing people the Jeremy Roenick way
This is NOT the way to get fans back into the stands. I am a big fan of Jeremy Roenick, even when he played for the Suckhawks. I’ve always admired the hardnosed way he plays the game and always was
Posted By James at 9:58 AM
The Aristocrats
I have included the full text of a NY Times article talking about a documentary regarding the most depraved joke in the world, as told by many comedians, but with their version of it. I have heard th
Posted By James at 8:32 AM
Friday, 24
The Solicitor Hall of Fame
I've got mixed feelings about the web site the Chicago Police Department has made available to the general public. It lists photos and basic ID of guys who have been arrested for soliciting prostitut
Posted By James at 8:24 AM
Skip Caray and pot
One thing I love about Skip Caray, the venerable Atlanta Braves announcer, is that he is one of the few broadcasters left in baseball today to tell it like it is. His dark, dry sense of humor and unv
Posted By James at 9:01 AM
A "Value-For-Money" Monarchy
From Thursday’s New York Times….

Queen keeps a lid on costs
“Taxpayers paid the equivalent of $1.12 each last year to support Queen Elizabeth II and the royal family, a “good valu
Posted By James at 8:33 AM
Thursday, 23
NHL, are you paying attention?
I admit it. For once, I am jealous of the NBA and their fans. Last week, it was almost a certainty that there would be a lockout on July 1. Somehow in a week’s time, the NBA and the Players Associa
Posted By James at 8:36 AM
Steve Dahl
With my job as an internet application tester, a majority of my time is in front of a computer monitor so music and/or a talk show becomes my savior from insanity. I got hooked onto Steve Dahl
Posted By James at 8:19 AM
Wednesday, 22
Shirk your responsibilities and get rich immediately
Some things just aren’t fair in life. Some days I wish I was a manic, racist, cold-footed bride-to-be who is not only not being prosecuted for her lies to the police departments that were looking for
Posted By James at 10:09 AM
Tuesday, 21
So long, suckers!!
I’ve always been amused by “goodbye emails” sent out by soon-to-be-leaving coworkers. The level of b.s. and intentions to keep in touch that never materialize is always fun to read. They remind me o
Posted By James at 8:26 AM
Monday, 20
Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips.
Now this just kicks butt. The Chicago Sun-Times is doing a weeklong special commemorating the 25th anniversary of the Blues Brothers being filmed in Chicago. I have the 20th Anniversary DVD which in
Posted By James at 8:55 AM
Gonzo Imperial Porter
In an earlier post , I had mentioned that Flying Dog Brewery in Denver was creating a beer in h
Posted By James at 8:42 AM
Sunday, 19
Father's Day
Allow me for one day to be a softie. For those wanting a testosterone-filled post, today is not the day.

My Allison,

I know today is Father’s Day but to me it is Daughter’s Day.
Posted By James at 2:52 PM
Friday, 17
Road closed due to baking ingredients?!
I love it when you get traffic reports on the radio and the delays are due to weird things being spilled onto the highway. Today’s Spill Du Jour was a flour truck tipping over and emptying its conten
Posted By James at 10:13 AM
Quotable Quotes and Yankee Shenanigans
The Quote Machine
While I could care less about basketball anymore, Shaquille O’Neal is one of the best quote machines in sports today. I am a firm believer that a post-game interview wit
Posted By James at 9:30 AM
Thursday, 16
California jury verdicts
I don’t like to pile on to stories that are told ad nauseum, but I must comment on the Michael Jackson case. Because I was involved in an email chain yesterday (not related to Michael Jackson) that m
Posted By James at 8:16 AM
DVR update
The best thing that happened to our house last weekend was that our Comcast DVR died. The replacement came yesterday and I will put Comcast’s new DVR up against TiVO’s, which is a strong statement.
Posted By James at 8:16 AM
Wednesday, 15
The Golden Years
I just got something from the vending machine and received a quarter in change. The thing was so old and dirty to the point where you had to squint to see the year it was minted. The date was 1973 a
Posted By James at 8:24 AM
Tuesday, 14
Hello, My Name is “Product Placement”
As I was heading down to Millenium Park on the El train with friends this past weekend in Chicago, there was a girl who was in her work uniform. Nothing was unusual about that but the name on her nam
Posted By James at 5:14 PM
The Shield
I wish I had started this blog before the beginning of the latest season of FX’s great cop show “The Shield”. The season finale is tonight at 10 EST. There is no better cop show out there the past 4
Posted By James at 1:04 PM
Monday, 13
Weekend in Chicago
A good weekend in Chicago was had by yours truly, indeed. I will post photos of the weekend hopefully later this week, including some pretty cool Wrigley photos.

Some observations about t
Posted By James at 10:54 AM
Thursday, 9
Heckling - It's not just for drunks anymore
I leave for Chicago today so there will be no post tomorrow. I will be at Wrigley on Friday watching the Cubs and Red Sox and Maddux is slated to be on the mound. So, in memory of Wrigley, I figured
Posted By James at 9:41 AM
Wednesday, 8
Jury Duty - The Aftermath
There were 2 subjects that I hadn’t brought up in my jury blogs earlier this week.

First was what happened on closing arguments today. For the entire trial, I was in the front row, usually
Posted By James at 10:55 AM
Baseball the way it was meant to be on TV
Ever since I’ve had a DVR (digital video recorder), I have become unable to watch live TV, including sporting events. I couldn’t tell you barely any commercial the past 4 years. The only ads I care
Posted By James at 8:35 AM
Tuesday, 7
Free email wars
For those of you who don’t have Google or Yahoo email accounts, this post might be boring. For the remainder of you still with Hotmail or AOL accounts, 1995 called and it would like its memories back
Posted By James at 8:36 AM
Monday, 6
Random sports thoughts for Monday
Wow, in the NL East, only a game and a half separates the first place and last place teams. I feel bad for Montrealers, because now the Montreashington Expotionals are in first place and not looking
Posted By James at 8:56 AM
Freak of the Week Award
At the Dairy Queen on Saturday, this guy with a backpack walks in and heads for the restroom. Of course in the black hole that is my heart which has no faith in humanity, my first thought is “must be
Posted By James at 8:56 AM
Friday, 3
Jury Duty - Part 3
(Please read the previous 2 days’ posts before you read this one)
The government’s wire tapping of this gang’s cell phone calls netted them over 30,000 calls. Since these were all in Spanish, th
Posted By James at 9:55 AM
Thursday, 2
Jury Duty - Part 2
(Please read yesterday’s post before you read this one)
As soon as the jury pool that is not chosen is excused from the courtroom, the prosecution began. This was a federal criminal case, so the
Posted By James at 8:41 AM
Wednesday, 1
It’s ironic that “jury” rhymes with “hurry” – Part 1
It’s been 2 months since I was called for federal criminal jury duty, but since so much happened because of my experiences there that it bears retelling, now that I can spill the beans. One of the ha
Posted By James at 8:20 AM
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