I don’t like the word “blog”. Even before this medium was “hip” and the AOL Drones hadn’t heard of it yet, I never was enamored with the word. It’s too close to “glop” or “glob” or any other gooey, slime-based connotation. I’m not sure why the “we” in “web log” was left off, as “weblog” sounds more inviting than the crusty “blog”. So I’ve been thinking about different words to take the place of “blog”. “Blog” backwards is “golb” and that doesn’t work. Neither does “golbew”. Taking the next set of letters for each word doesn’t spell anything. For instance “B” is followed by “C”, “L” is followed by “M”. Using that logic, the letters before and after blog spell “aknf” and “cmph” respectively, so that line of thinking doesn’t work either for the Next Generation Word For Blog.

I then tried to string some words together to form an acronym but Vile Rants, Asinine Assumptions, Depleted Memories and Hazy Recollections spells “vraadmhr”. Maybe this is a word in India, but not on U.S. soil.

Maybe I should use my favorite Chinese restaurant as an acronym? “Hot Wok” could stand for House Of The Written Oratory Kernels” but “nuggets of information” is better than “kernels”. Damn, this isn’t as easy as I thought it would be.

OK, maybe a phrase – Thought Germinator? Too close to Arnold’s “Terminator”. Rant Repository? Dennis Miller is associated with the word “rants”. Smarmy Sewer Of Half-Baked Opinions? Too harsh. James’ Missives Of Infinite Wisdom? Too cocky. The Gospel According To James? Sacrilegious.

Anything with “e” in front of the word needs to be automatically e-Rejected eImmediately. The same rule applies with “i”. Those entries, to quote an ex-coworker of mine, are i-trendy and will look retarded within a short time frame.

I’m going to give this idea some more thought. I thought I’d have come up with one in a week’s timeframe but that hasn’t happened. Make no mistake though – the word “blog” needs to die a quick death.